Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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