Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
