I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
