Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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