I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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