just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
