Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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