my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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