she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
