I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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