the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
