i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
And then he peed in my hair
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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