Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
