i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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