I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i will never coherently bang her
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The police scanner is talking about you again....
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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