what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
