just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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