I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
