Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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