shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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