apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
