Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
