She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
