dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
