Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
