we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
