Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
