Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
