I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
