I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
