i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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