so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
