dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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