remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
