his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Shame is for Republicans.
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