i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
