I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
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