pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
