it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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