okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
