We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
