Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
