And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
