speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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