Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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