Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
