I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
