it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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