my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
