Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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