Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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