My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
