Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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